In the the midst

I have been asked how I stay positive in the midst of our storm. Well, I don't.... Bet you weren't expecting that. I vow to each and every one of you that I will be honest and raw about OUR experiences and OUR journey. My experiences and feelings aren't what everyone that has struggled with infertility have felt.

I know I have said this before, I'm a pessimist. I'm not a sunny day with rainbows and butterflies type person. Don't sit there and tell me to just think differently. It isn't something I particularly like about myself. If I could change it, I would. I adore both of my parents, obviously! DUH! Here is the catch, I am "my fathers daughter", we have the SAME personality. We are analytical, type-A, time sensitive, realistic, glass half empty, easily frustrated, competitive and sometimes a little difficult to live with. I'm aware that I'm not the easiest to deal with. Don't let any of those qualities be negative to you. We are extremely reliable people that are passionate about what we do. Even though I describe myself as those, don't forget that I love HARD, I care too much sometimes and I love people. If you're my people, I'm ride or die BUT if you wrong me, I'm done and I have no qualms about it. I know, I know, that's not a good quality. I'm totally the guy on the left in the cartoon below. I take challenges pretty head on.

Back to the topic at hand. I ride the struggle train of being positive about not getting pregnant. There are times I feel A-OK about it and other days I want to burn everything down. It's literally a coin flip to see how I feel that day. Also, I want to address that I have struggled with depression and I currently have anxiety. I however, am not depressed right now. I just have my down days, but I always bounce back up. As you have read before, I had to take a break from the weight I felt on my shoulders. After, all... it takes a toll on any person.