An Open Letter to My Pregnant Friends

I talked to one of my longest and best friends in my life and she gave me the idea of this blog. So, thank you for giving me this idea! It's a great one and I need to address it!

Hello love!

I wanted to start off by saying, I love you! I literally have the best friends in the world! I have loved every friend from every stage of life. I know that talking about certain things with me is difficult, especially pregnancy. I get it... I promise, I do. Several of you have started a conversation with me, to tell me about your pregnancy, saying "I was scared to tell you". Please don't say this... There is nothing to be scared about. I'm not going to punch you in the face, smash your windows out of your car or kick your dog. There is no reason to be scared. I know that most of you, by saying this, mean you are worried about telling me because you just don't want me to hurt. I love you for that, I really do. I also love that you tell me in person, so that I am not finding out on social media. That is respectable!

Let me clarify something for you that I feel is being lost in translation. I am a-l-w-a-y-s BEYOND thrilled for you and your pregnancy. Obviously, I wouldn't be friends with you if I thought you were a bad person and didn't deserve something like a baby. So, tell me when you are ready to tell me! I want to be excited for you, to share in your joy. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't happy for you?! If I have ever responded to you in a way that made you feel like I wasn't happy for you, I'm sorry! It's a constant battle for me to find the right words. Keep in mind that I have two extreme emotions when you share the news. I'm thrilled and I'm devastated. It's a struggle sometimes to let the excitement over shine the devastation.

If I have ever stepped out of conversations that revolve around your pregnancy, don't take it personal. If I turn down your invitation to your baby shower, don't take it personal. Don't worry, I'll still get you a present. ;) But for real... It is human nature to take care of yourself and guard your heart. That is exactly what I am doing. I have had to learn to do this. I would hang around in the conversations/events and go home and be in a little "funk" for a while and it would sometimes take me an abnormal amount of time to get out of it. It doesn't change our friendship or my love for you and your precious bundle of joy.

Keep the empathy, though, when discussing your pregnancy with me. Just a little pointer... Keep one thing out of the discussion. Leave out the part about how easy it was or how you didn't want another baby. I know... You might have really not wanted another one or you really do get pregnant easily, but it doesn't need to be mentioned. Stay in touch with me. Don't avoid me because you think I can't be around you. You are my friend, I don't want that to change!

One more time, let me say... I LOVE YOU AND I AM HAPPY FOR YOU!

Love, Your friend struggling with infertility