Goodbye 2017

As I sit here with Jeremy on the couch and the temperature -8 with a windchill of -20... 2017 is almost over and while I reflect on it and realize that, while my number one hopeful change for the year was to grow my family by two feet didn't happen, I am still grateful for this past year. My husband went on a deployment and returned to me safe and healthy. I was able to travel with my mom and I am still thankful for that time with her. I'm proud of what I did during 2017. Not because anything amazing took place, because let's face it, nothing did. In fact, if I were to be honest, it was one of the hardest years emotionally for me.

What I can be thankful for is this.... I made it. But not necessarily that I made it, but who I made it with. Because as much as I would like to take credit for getting through it all, I can’t. I had Jeremy and I had amazing friends and family members on my side. I don't talk about my journey very much. Actually, the place I talk about it most is here. I find it easier to type it out for the masses than to talk about it to a friend. You know why? Because I always cry when I talk about it and I don't like feeling it. So, just the thought of knowing that so many of you are there for me helps me through. THANK YOU for being there ready to talk even though I don't reach out.

So as this year comes to a close, I say goodbye to 2017 and I look forward to the future of 2018. I want to try to have 2018 be more of hope than defeat. What I wouldn't give for 2018 to be OUR year. I also vow to be more aware that He is near and that He hasn't abandoned me. I also vow to try to be more hopeful. I have no doubt that this year will have its speed bumps, but I NEED to be more hopeful. It is something that is almost impossible for me, but I vow to try!

A friend on Facebook shared this quote and I want to share it here because, if it spoke to me... It might speak to you as well...

"When you look back on 2017, don't think of it as a year of pain but a year of growth. You made it through each day. You should be proud of yourself. You are a better you, despite all the hardship. Take a deep breath and enter 2018 with hope and confidence."

-Unknown