A Reminder to Myself

Throughout the journey I have learned so much about myself and my others in the same awful circumstances. There are times that I fall flat on my face and forget to pick myself up again. So, here is my reminder and a reminder to those of you walking this journey with me.

Take care of yourself: It is easy to get wrapped up in things to do and people to please – but the most important thing you can do right now is to take care of YOU. When you set yourself as a priority, you have more energy, you feel better mentally, physically and emotionally AND you will be able to find joy. This struggle is extremely hard on your body and mind, so taking care of YOU is the best thing you can do.

You can do hard things: Sometimes we are asked to do a lot more in this life than we think we can handle. You may have to fall and pick yourself up again. You may have to keep going, even though you don’t think you can go any further. You may have to do what seems to be impossible, because it actually might end up being possible. And most importantly you should always remember to keep moving towards where you want to be, no matter what is in front of you or what resistance you feel.

It's normal to feel exhausted: “Trying” is exhausting. There are articles and books to read, apps that will tell you when it is “time”, lists of foods people will tell you to eat, medications you can take, oils that you can rub, doctors that you can see and a million things you can do that have worked for other people so you will want to try them too. And with every passing day, you will be tired. You will be ready to give up on it all. You will ask yourself, “Is it even worth all of this?!”

It is okay to be sad: In fact, a good cry

is healthy. Your life is really, really hard. And every day, you are going through one of the hardest trials. I suggest to allow yourself to be sad for 10 minutes every morning. You can cry and have your own pity party for yourself. But after those 10 minutes are up, I encourage you to pick yourself up and focus on something else. Sometimes it will creep up on you again, give yourself those 10 minutes and regroup.

Everyone is different: Be careful not to compare yourself or your story with ANYONE else’s. Every situation is different. Every story is unique. You write yours – and they will write theirs. What works for them, may not work for you. Do what is best for YOU and what you are comfortable with. We each have our own struggles and trials and we all will handle things that come our way differently.

Things don’t always work out…and it will be okay: That is a tough one to say. I hope you will remember that everything happens for a reason…even if we do not understand the reasoning at this moment.

You aren’t alone: And you NEVER ever will be. It is important to talk about your struggle and to find other women or couples that are going through this too. I promise you are not the only one. It's also important to find your friends that can listen and let you be sad and validate your feelings. Don't cut out your friends that don't know what you're going through, they can be extremely valuable.

It isn’t easy: Lastly, I hope you will remember that it isn’t easy. It is NOT. And with every day that goes by, it might even get harder. But I know for a fact, that the greatest things in life, are truly worth waiting for. And a baby is THE greatest thing… so even if it isn’t easy… it will be worth it.