It's not a joke

April Fools is right around the corner. This topic is very controversial and I understand that there are some people who find humor in the fake "I'm pregnant" joke. I'm sure someone will read this and think to themselves, "get over it, you're too sensitive". Yes, I am sensitive when it comes to this, so called, "joke". Actually... there are probably 1 in 8 people who do not think this is funny.

I love a good harmless prank. I've pulled my own fair share of pranks through my life (most in college) and found great humor in them. I have laughed at pranks until I have almost peed my pants. But the fake "I'm pregnant" joke is anything but harmless. Or even funny.

I followed a celebrity on Instagram last year around April Fools time and she posted this so called, "joke" and it hurt me and I'm not invested in her, so it was easy to unfollow her because it was hurtful. BUT a friend on facebook posting is another story and, personally, it hurt that friendship.

The thing is this, I had no idea how much that joke would hurt until I saw it. BUT they had no idea either. I'm sure she had no idea that my husband and I had been trying for 4 years, at the time, with no luck. Or that I was just told by my doctor to, "just adopt". She didn't know that that her fake announcement would cause me to instantly feel broken, again. Or break down crying uncontrollably because I was drowning in emotions that infertility brings without warning no matter how much you try suppress them, which is a constant struggle to do. And she didn't know the stats that 1 out of every 8 person is suffering with infertility.

Or the possibility of someone they love, being the “1” who is silently hurting. There are so many of us that don't say anything and just keep it to ourselves. I did it for 4 years. Just in the last year have I started talking about it.

I'm assuming some of you are wondering why I felt the need to blog about this. This is why... Please consider not doing this "joke" on April Fools Day. Because, like me, the person that is seeing your "joke", could be suffering. Or a friend scrolling through Facebook and seeing a fake sonogram picture announcing a fake pregnancy, could have secretly just experienced her own devistating miscarriage. And so the intense emotions each of these women have and are going through while reading your "announcement", trying to muster up the strength to put aside their pain in order to share in this joy with you, only to later discover it was a joke, becomes, hurtful.

Most of the time, women struggling with infertility can process the pain of an actual announcement easier if it comes with true and actual joy. With the April Fools announcement, there is no joy in the end. And the pain your friend had was for no reason at all. Also, seeing something amazing like a pregnancy, the gift they have been hoping and praying for, be made into a joke... Can only be seen as insensitive.

And, yes, I understand that there are many who have or still do struggle with infertility and loss who would not be bothered by this joke. Good for them. I wish I was in that place, but I'm not.

I am asking on behalf of those who might be barely hanging onto hope and grieving in silence.

I am asking on behalf of the person who is too embarrassed to say that this joke hurts even though they wish it didn’t.

I'm asking for you not only to not post this but to ask friends and family members to not make fake pregnancy announcements. And not because anyone is trying to take the fun out of things, but because we are trying to be considerate of other people.

You never know the battle someone else is facing or the price they are quietly and needlessly paying for a harmful joke, even if it is harmless to them.