Another Appointment
I want to catch you up since the last doctor update. Dr. McFadden put me on 6 months of Femara (fertility med) and Metphormin and I was instructed that if I wasn't pregnant, to call and make a follow-up appointment. When the last dose was taken, I was hopeful, yet, I was pretty sure it wasn't going to work. Then, Jeremy left for Military Police Investigation School for a couple months. I waited almost another month after he returned to build up the gall to make another appointment. I also needed the push of one of my best friends to suck it up and make the appointment.
I wish I could describe why it is so hard to keep going sometimes. Lets compare my fertility journey to training to become a runner-- Picture this... You have always dreamed of being an amazing runner. You decide to start training so, you get out and mix walking and jogging the first time. It feels amazing because you just know running will become something you can easily do. There are so many people that can support you and there are trainers available to guide you. You consistently get out and jog, adding more speed, and it's feeling better than the days before, EXCEPT you step off a curb in your neighborhood and twist your ankle. This causes you to stop training, so you can rebound from your injury. A couple of weeks later, you're back out starting from square one. You're back out and actually ready to start again. You're still excited about the journey and following your training to a T; UNTIL you meet all of these amazing runners and they tell you that you will never be a runner. You're soul is crushed and broken. You stop training. Then your good friend, who is a marathon runner encourages you to start again. You start again. The struggle is that you are constantly getting injured... hamstring pull, shin splints, blisters, chaffing, patellar tendinitis and ACL tears. At what point do you decide to keep going or to stop? Is your body tired of constantly failing you? Are you mentally strong enough to always start over?
A week later I made the call. He was able to fit me in 3 days later! I was excited, but extremely nervous. I didn't know what was going to happen at my appointment. I asked Jeremy to go with me. He keeps me grounded and at peace. He is the perfect better half to my anxious, pessimistic self. He has an amazing supervisor at work that is 110% ok with him coming to my appointment, which isn't something that is common in the military.
Fast forward to what you really want to know. ;) We are taken into an exam room and asked to update the charts, get my BP taken and then wait. Then I hear Dr. McFadden talking to the nurse and he has her move me to the ultrasound room. My first thought, "great.... more tests". I started feeling nervous and could feel my palms starting to get sweaty. Anxiety rears it's ugly head every time I have one of these appointments. I looked at Jeremy and said, "I'm not ready for this, I didn't want more tests". Dr. McFadden came in and asked if we would be here for 2-3 years. I told him we should be here two more years based on Jeremy's new job. Then he said this to us... "I don't want to start something that I can't finish. I want to follow it all the way through." For some reason, this made me want to jump off the table and chest bump him. It made me feel like he wasn't going to give up on us. Dr. McFadden wanted to do ANOTHER transvaginal ultrasound. He looked at my ovaries and uterus AGAIN. Everything looked good. He showed me that I would be ovulating from the right ovary and then he used the transducers sound waves and we heard the blood flow to my ovaries (it sounds just like a fetal heartbeat.) He then turned on imaging to see the blood flow. Dr. McFadden said everything looked good. Now what?
Ultrasound measurements of my ovaries and uterus
Then he turned to Jeremy to talk about his last semen analysis. He wants another analysis done. What's the difference compared to the first semen analysis? This time it will be done at a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Dr. McFadden wants to get the best picture of our whole situation before he "does anything invasive" with me. Why use a RE to do the sperm analysis? Here is a great explanation of what they are looking for and what issues are associated with abnormal values.
While we wait for Dr. McFadden to set up the appointment for Jeremy, he prescribed Femara and Metphormin again. The only difference, he upped the dosage of both. Time to put my pills back in my old person pill organizer, schedule intercourse and wait.
At this point, I should be a professional wait-er.