Developing Understanding

I have learned in the last couple years is that when a BFP (Big F-ing Positive) does happen for someone, they get the applause and congrats, an outpouring of love and support. But when it doesn’t happen, you have people who make you question why. People who make you feel guilty for not doing enough. Who make you question if you are enough. People who make you question the one glass of wine you had or french fries you ate or maybe if you had only done more detoxing, acupuncture, yoga or took more vitamins.

The truth is, we don’t question pregnant women when their pregnancy becomes high risk, if they get gestational diabetes or pre eclampsia. We don’t put the ‘blame’ back on them. We see the situation as separate from them, something they can’t always control. Which allows for nurturing and empathy for what they have to endure.

Women trying to conceive deserve this same understanding. They need the support for everything they DID do. Any complication they might have while trying to get pregnant, is not their fault. It’s nothing they did or didn’t do. They shouldn’t be left feeling like their bodies are failing or that they have control over the outcome if only they tried harder and did more. Women living in this 4 week increment deserve all the support and understanding in the world. They need reassurance that they are enough and have done enough. They don’t need to be left questioning their own bodies and choices they have made. We need to reassure them they DO know their own bodies best. We need to acknowledge the very important job that they are doing, often without an end in sight and with a for sure reward at the end. We need to acknowledge the strength AND courage it takes to continue fighting. The ones who are fighting the hardest shouldn’t feel this invisible.

Take some time this holiday season to love on your friends who are on this path. Remember, we are 1 in 4.